Author Archives: Sjef

Methodical Negative Racketeer

Written by . Posted on May 25, 2011. Filed under Spelling & Handwriting. No comments.

1. Lost and Never Found II is a book full of stories about people who have disappeared.

That’s nice.

2. He was always very methodical when packing his portmanteau.

And I never used that word to mean suitcase ever again.

3. His popularity took a dive when he lost the miscellaneous objects needed for the project.

Haha, the project manager is always such a popular guy.

4. After too long he had accredited a negative additude.

Bastard, I still don’t have any credentials for that. Also, I don’t think I knew what accredited meant 20 years ago. Neither did my teacher, apparently.

5. He resolved to find the problem with his subterranean 100% oxygen free sea-saucer.

I wish I remembered why I might have thought 100% oxygen free was the way to go.

6. Roger Ramjet caught the dare-devil racketeer.

I forgot about Roger Ramjet, that’s some atomic shit.

B+ Sjef, you could have done better.

Spelling & Handwriting is schoolwork I did 20 years ago to the day. It’s super exciting and you love it.

Narcotic Melodious Mechanisation

Written by . Posted on May 3, 2011. Filed under Spelling & Handwriting. No comments.

1. The naturalist got pnuemonia.

Served him right, probably.

2. The narcotic person dicided drugs were unavoidable.

When I grow up I want to be a narcotic person. Oh wait, that happened.

3. His resolution for the year was not to be so sensitive to his dog.

Instead, he was a dick to his dog I guess.

4. It was a melodious sound.

*insert your own lame fart joke here*

5. The meaning of vehicular transference and mechanisation are not in my dictionary.

What a cop out Sjef, you lazy bastard.

This time I give myself a C. Shit spelling and no story. Boooooo.

Spelling & Handwriting is an ongoing series showing off my 20 year old school work. It will continue till the year ends or I am torn apart by ravenous fans.

Adventurous Epidemic Diversion

Written by . Posted on April 26, 2011. Filed under Spelling & Handwriting. No comments.

1. The Coke advertisement was ancient.

k.

2. The soldiers in the siege were fatigued.

Makes sense.

3. “I guarantee that is the most adventurous game since Prince of Persia” said the salesmen selling 1+1=2.

Jordan Mechner was one of my childhood heroes. I hope he’s still getting them Prince of Persia dollars.

4. They had a conference to see what to do about the epidemic.

No idea why I was so big on conferences & committees when I was 10.

5. Macgyver proceeded to create a diversion for the boy.

I can’t figure out if this is a good or a bad thing.

Overall 10 year old self, this time I give you a B. No major spelling fuckups but the lack of a central narrative kinda brings the whole thing down. And watch the size, omg.

Spelling & Handwriting is a series of posts showing schoolwork I did 20 years ago. I’m going to bore you with this stuff all year.

Immune Dialogue Conqueror

Written by . Posted on April 5, 2011. Filed under Spelling & Handwriting. No comments.

Personally I still construct all my mousetraps in the toilet, makes perfect sense to me. I give myself an A-, mostly for conquering the dialogue.

Update 17-04 – Figure I should add transcripts to these posts to see what they turn up in weird Google searches.

1. Their sovereign designed an electric mousetrap.

2. It looked horrible.

3. The comittee had a conference to decide wether it was environmentally freindly as it made c.f.c’s.

4. The comittee found that that their trap was not very hygienic either, as it had been made in the toliet.

5. The maker argued that he was immune to all the diseases related to that fact .

6. The dialogue that followed was not suitable for anyone under nineteen but the man who made the trap was the conqueror.

7. But then the humanitarian of the group pointed out that most people were not immune to the diseases and the mousetrap maker to agree to a certain set of restrictions and they all lived mouse-free ever after.